Wednesday 30 May 2012

Weigh In Worries

I've got my weigh in tomorrow and once again the scales haven't moved. I don't know why I weigh myself at home as 1) You're not supposed to and 2) My scales only go up to 22 1/2 stone and then go round again so currently I weigh 3 1/2 stone according to them. 

I really hope I have lost some weight, because I've found this really great free app called TargetWeight. All you have to do is put in your weight and height, then your target weight (I think I put 11 stone), and target date (I put the 3rd July 2014) and it gives you lbs to go, days to go,your BMI, and I think it tracks you weight loss too. I want to update it every Thursday night to track my progress. The BMI box is even colour coordinated to whether you are severely obese,obese, overweight etc. It also shows that I would still be overweight at 11 stone.

Sunday 27 May 2012

Clothes Problems

Although I know I'm hideous, I very rarely get depressed about my size. I don't blame genetics or thyroid imbalance- I know I am 100% responsible for what I've done to myself, the way I've abused myself, even though I don't think I did it deliberately.


Right at this moment, however, I am feeling depressed. We're going on holiday in 8 weeks, and had I carried on the the Cambridge Diet, I might have lost 3 stone by then but that will not be the case now. To be honest at the size I am, a few stone either way probably doesn't look that different, but I really don't want (and can't afford) to buy any more clothes at this size, and there isn't much available even if I did want to.


I've just had a good look through my wardrobe and I have so many clothes,most of them brand new with tags on, the trouble is, nothing fits me.


I have:-


A black skirt that I have worn almost non stop for the last three years. It is truly horrible and if I have the choice, I wouldn't be seen dead in it.


A quite new dark denim skirt


A dark bluey purple jersey skirt which I don't wear out because it's very thin and drapes itself to my body. Also nothing goes with it. However it is the most comfortable skirt ever and I wear it round the house all the time.


A long mid denim skirt in a thin chambray material. This is very long, maybe too long, and has a tear that I've repaired near the zip. Its the only thing suitable for a scorching hot day like today.


That is all that fits me.


Then there's


A brown linen skirt that will hopefully fit me in a stones time


A black linen skirt that is smarter than I would happily wear. It will fit me in a stones time.


A long blue denim skirt that will probably take two stone to squeeze into


Plus lots of other things that will clothe me during my weight loss journey, but that won't fit for my holiday.


As I tried and failed to squash my belly into size 30 clothes I wondered how on earth things got this bad. It wasn't long ago that I was a comfortable 16 and sometimes even a 14.

First Weigh In

I suppose I should mention that my diet didn't actually start with slimming world. I actually started dieting on Saturday 5th May doing a combination of low carb and meal replacement packs. I've done meal replacement before and was very successful (until I stopped and the weight piled on) and wanted to do that again, but the rules have changed and my BMI is too high, hence the low carb. Anyway I found it really hard and also the cost (about £30 a week for two packs a day) was just too high.


My weight on the 5th May was 25 stone 8lbs. I only had one weigh in and I lost 2lbs.


So these are my weigh ins so far and I'll update them every week.


START DATE 5th MAY 2012


05/05/2012 - 25st8
08/05/2012 - 25st6
18/05/2012 - 25st1
24/05/2012 - 24st12 1/2


Wednesday 23 May 2012

Haven't Lost Anything

Its my first weigh in tomorrow evening and I'm quite worried because, according to my scales,I haven't lost any weight. I did think this might happen as I did a meal replacement diet for ten days first,so it might take a while for my body to adjust,but I was really hoping I'd lose something.

Yesterday Was Not A Good Day

Yesterday was not a typical Slimming World day. I was really busy all day. It was my daughters birthday, my mum came round, and my husband finished work early. Also the boiler is playing up, so I had a plumber booked to come. Anyway, all those things meant I din't eat very well


Breakfast - Nothing
Lunch ( about 4.30) 2 M&S meringue nests (2.5 syns each) with lots of fresh strawberries
Dinner (9.00) 4 reduced fat sausages (1 syn each) and some slimming world chips, a Muller light yoghurt and then a peach Activia yoghurt (1 syn)


I stayed within my syns, but didn't have anything very nutritious. I have no idea why I had to have the second yoghurt, I didn't even enjoy it. Today will be better. Hopefully.

Tuesday 22 May 2012

My Vital Statistics

As you have probably gathered from the title of my blog, I am fat. I might well be the fattest person you've ever seen. I don't know if I've ever seen anyone bigger because I have a distorted picture of what I look like in my head - I always think I look quite normal until I catch a glimpse of myself and then I feel really shocked and distressed. I avoid mirrors from the neck down and never have my photo taken. If I was ever abducted, the only picture they would have to show on tv would be my wedding photo. I got married 15 years ago, have put on 10 stone since then, and luckily that ringlet hairstyle was a one day only sensation. I still haven't forgiven hairdresser.


So anyway, lets get down to the nitty gritty...


I am 40 years old, married with two children. I am also 5'5 1/2" tall (approx 166cm) and I weigh 25 stone 1lb (351lbs or 159kg). My BMI is 57.5, and apparently I should weigh 152lbs or under. I currently wear a size 30/32clothes, but this is as big as they get, it's impossible to get anything bigger,and there is hardly any choice for me now. Hopefully I will never again have to buy clothes in this size.

Introduction

Can I just start by saying this isn't a travel blog. I won't be going far unfortunately.


I want this to be an account of my weight loss. I'm not expecting anyone to read it, but maybe it will help me come to terms with my problems with the unhappiness that being so big has caused me, and then I can break this vicious circle once and for all.